Every year around this time, frequent contributor Jed Duvall locks himself in an Amissville garrett and pens a New Year’s greeting that dresses up names from the past year’s Rappahannock headlines into meter and verse, for better or worse. Mostly better. Happy New Year to all!
Let’s punch down the dough, bake it to leaven
Then draw on the icing, “Hi Twenty Eleven!”
This well-worn scribe now pulls out the stopper
To uncork salutes to nouns that are proper.
Light the candles! Belt the carols!
Bring the mead, roll out the barrels!
Watch out for the meter, it stumbles (how quaint!)
This writer, you see, well Shakespeare he ain’t.
So here they do come, drum roll to sound,
This year’s collection of names thrown around.
A lineup of fellas, all grinning and smiley:
Who leads them? Of course, our own good John Diley.
Sound out now a special seasonal riff,
To renowned farmers named Trista and Cliff:
He’s a scion of the Miller line,
Her last name is Scheuerlein.
Congrats are due to Settle, Gary T; A captain now is he, you see.
Pellikaan and Pellegatta, two good guys who really matta.
Don right now your holiday finery
Good wishes all ‘round to Narmada, the winery.
RAAC gives us a show, all in top form.
And none is the equal of Getsinger, Norm.
When solons assemble to seek out the wiser,
They never do better than finding John Kiser.
Let’s make a salute, hold our glass aloft
For Lynette and Eric, name Wesselhoft.
She was pro firefighter, and then PE teacher;
Just right we salute Number One Chief Ann Spieker.
Now Schroeder and Eastwood, Adolfi and Boc,
Christine and Don, both of them Loock.
Hail to these couples and all that remain
Including Connie, and her man, Paul Payne.
O sing now to schools a holiday tune,
Best wishes to you, new Super Al Boone.
Ack! To rhyme Bourgeois, John, I throw in the towel,
Should be buy an A, he’d have all the vowels.
Mount Vernon storekeeper is Lillian Aylor
While Amissville preacher is Baptist Ed Taylor.
The words for Lesinskis they tie up all tidy.
He’s big rugged John and she is sweet Heidi.
Want to know how the wildlife are goin’?
Turn some of these pages and read our Pam Owen.
Highlighted right now, here in our gallery,
Amissville’s genial Jerome Mallory.
Without Bob Lander or Darcy Canton,
Senior Center sure would be wantin’.
L. Adkins, P. Hagstrom we specially greet
For graciousness both in genteel defeat.
Both town and our county sit under an aura:
The adroit style and skill of Overstreet, Laura.
We’ve no stoplights here and not much WiFi;
No flash mobs abound and crime is not high.
Billboards are absent; chain stores are too,
And each morn sunrise improves on the view.
So what in the world could turn down our mugs?
The invasion, of course, of Asian stinkbugs.
Won’t somebody please, o please, I do cry
Help us get rid of Pentatomidae!
Let’s all tip our hats to folks at RappCats!
And then “Bless Y’all” to those of the RAWL.
New Year’s success, that sure is our premise,
To Mary Ann and Rich, both name of Krammes.
Geoff Gowen: Glad I’m knowin’.
Write on the slates: Ralph Bates
Do a still trick for Wasmund, Rick
That Joyce Harman, always charmin’.
In him we revel, Turner, Nevill.
Wish her the best and no baloney,
Salute to Egger, name of Toni.
Bank on this, at poet’s peak,
Another salute, to Michael Leake.
On our grand stage, one of the gems,
Comes gallopin’ in, good David Semmes.
Jennifer Gray on paper you see,
But all the world loves her as our Momma Gee.
Bring your sick four-footer – a Persian or Pom,
To be cured by Rose Hill Vet Massie
By name of Doc Tom.
There’s Pettingers in Amissville
and Reidingers in Sperryville.
That’s Lyn and Pam and Judy and Dick.
Ain’t THAT a dandy rhyming trick?
Now music up, let credits roll. This show is o’er, it’s time to go.
Old year steps out, new one on stage. Stay healthy now, it’s all the rage.
Remember the needy, stand tall and by Jove,
Shake hands with a neighbor.
Kiss someone you love.